I didn’t think a piece on riding the subway in NYC would be needed but the recent snowstorm in New York made this diatribe possible.

Crowded trains are one of the many blisters on New Yorkers’ feet and they start to bleed with frustration once they’ve come across someone really ANNOYING on the subway.

No, this isn’t going to help you figure out how to use a metrocard machine or help you figure out which trains stop where, this is another edition in NYC how-to’s (how to walk in NYC) for dummies.

Let’s start from the subway platform. Here’s a little New York subway tip, always walk to either end of the station ( if it hasn’t arrived) for the best chance in finding an empty subway car. Don’t wait in the middle of the station, it’s the most populated area and will get the most people coming in at every train stop. Now that you’re at the end, due your part people, you’ll get on the train quicker by letting other people off instead of trying to get on as other exit the train.

OK, you’re on the train, say it’s a crowded one, it still doesn’t give you the right to lean on someone for the duration of your ride. Hold yourself up-right somehow.

Backpacks! Due to the cutbacks from the MTA, there are more riders in less trains, we don’t need you wearing your backpacks taking up more of the much needed space. Save yourself some time and remove the bag from your back before you get on the train. You’ll find yourself more space below your waist, a perfect area for any bag.

Avoiding the Youngins: If you want to stay away from the wanna-be rapper teenagers who either mimic what they’re hearing silently or decided to be really annoying and actually verbalize the crap. You can do yourself a favor and avoid all this by not getting on a train around 2-4 p.m.

Nightlife: Train arrivals start getting really sporadic past midnight on Friday and Saturday. You’ll find yourself waiting from 40 minutes to an hour depending on the train line. If you’re out partying but don’t want to get home at 4 a.m. take the train before midnight. Nothing good will come from hanging out too late, get home and live to see the sun rise.

Here is another, looking down the subway tunnel. It will not make it come any quicker. If you’re that urgent for it to come, or short on time, add extra time to your commute or take a cab. Because that is annoying, not ANNOYING, just annoying.

It also shouldn’t have to be said but give your seat up for the elderly or pregnant.

Pole Position: If you’re stranded to holding the pole for your train ride, don’t breathe on anyone. There is no reason for it, that and staring. New York has got nicer, but it’s not that nice.

Newspaper Readers and leg-crossers: If you see someone trying to walk from one end to the other on the subway, uncross your legs. It’s not the Olympics, New Yorkers have enough hurdles to deal with. Newspaper readers, I get you’re trying to keep up to date with world, but take notice of the end of your New York Times that’s tickling my back. It’s ANNOYING.

Did I miss anything?

Photo Credit: Asslev